kinoko

Di satu waktu setelah sekian lama…

Tidak ada kepastian dan masih saja berharap

Mencoba ‘tuk lepaskan dan lupakan tapi Dia berkata “belum saatnya”

Lalu ku mencoba cari makna dari semua ini…

Mencari sebuah penjelasan untuk banyak peristiwa

Namun ku tak mau lagi berpersepsi dan berimajinasi…

Mungkin lebih baik aku menunggu, karena hanya itu yang ku bisa

dan karena…..

tidak ada yang lain yang bisa membuatku melupakannya

Can’t find another one to be loved…

Maybe it’s my time to be loved and to be found by love…

First May - 2009

Friday I’m in Love =)

I miss your love, since you’ve been gone
I find it hard to go on
The summer sky don’t mean a thing
I thought I’d always be strong
I got a feeling inside
and it’s making my heart cry, cause

I’m missing you
and it’s making me blue, yeah
I’m missing you
but what can I do
Thousand miles away, from you

So here I am, and everything’s new
I should be happy in love
but all I know, I look deep in my eyes
I’ve never felt so alone
and this feeling inside
it’s making my heart cry, cause

I’m missing you
and it’s making me blue, yeah
I’m missing you
but what can I do
Thousand miles away, from you

So what’s the meaning of this
to be living like this
it ain’t no fun at all
I wonder where are you now
(I wonder where are you now)

I miss your love since you been gone
I find it hard to go on
and this feeling inside
I just break down and cry

Hm…… can’t get over this feeling is so hard….. Demo kimi ha, hoka no hito ni ai ochite iru kamo shirenai. This is so hard……. “but I love someone than everything” is such a simple words that has impact me mentally…. heuheu… lebay…… walopun in other hand, lega juga sih, jadi mungkin bisa mulai menata kembali perasaan ini (walaupun susah juga…..)

Ah… sudahlah….. gak jelas…..

When I need you
I just close my eyes and I’m with you
And all that I so want to give you
It’s only a heart beat away

When I need love
I hold out my hand and I touch love
I never knew there was so much love
Keeping me warm night and day

Miles and miles of empty space in between us
A telephone can’t take the place of your smile
But you know I won’t be traveling forever
It’s cold out but hold out and do like I do

When I need you
I just close my eyes and I’m with you
And all that I so want to give you baby
It’s only a heart beat away

It’s not easy when the road is your driver
Honey that’s a heavy load that we bear
But you know I won’t be traveling a lifetime
It’s cold out so hold out and do like I do

When I need you

When I need love
I hold out my hands and I touch love
I never knew there was so much love
Keeping me warm night and day

When I need you
I close my eyes
I hold out my hand and I’ve got you darling
It’s only a heart beat away
Now listen
When I need you darling
I hold you, feel ya
Give it to me baby

And I miss ya baby
Just close my eyes and I’m with you
And I need you tonight
You know it’s only a heart beat away

Rod Stewart - When I Need You

Lagu yang sebenernya kebetulan gw denger pas gw lagi di jalan daerah Glodok ma Nora and Iis…… dan entah kenapa langsung bisa membuat gw terdiam ahahaha…………….

Sekarang lagi cocok banget neh ma keadaan akhir2 ini…. Ternyata berat ya menghindari seseorang yang dah lama banget menjadi bagian dari hidup kita… Yah…. kalo yang ini sih udah ada di hati gw selama beberapa tahun terakhir dari gw kuliah D3 hehe…….

And I miss him a lot…… walopun gw menghindari dia kayak gimana juga gw gak akan bisa melupakan dia….

Dia kehilangan gw gak ya? Merasa gak ya kalo gw lagi menghindari dia? Soalnya gw merasa dia menghindari gw, jadi ya mending gw menghilang aja dulu hehe…

But then I realize….. masih susah ternyata….

When I need you… I just close my eyes and I’m with you…………….. Inilah yang bisa gw lakukan sekarang……. Just feel it…… and let it flow………..

Night and day, you are the one
Only you beneath the moon and under the sun
Whether near to me, or far
It’s no matter darling where you are
I think of you… Night and day

Day and night, why is it so

That this longing for you follows wherever I go
In the roaring traffic’s boom
In the silence of my lonely room
I think of you
Night and day, night and day

Under the hide of me
There’s an oh such a hungry yearning burning inside of me
And this torment won’t be through
Until you let me spend my life making love to you
Day and night, night and day

Night and Day, A song by Cole Porter

18 Okt. ‘08, satu pagi di stasiun kota, menunggu dua orang teman sambil mencoba untuk mendengarkan stasiun radio baru…

kenapa di Bogor gw tidak bisa mendengar stasiun radio ini dengan jelas ya? sayang banget, padahal gw baru saja langsung menyukai salah satu program sabtu pagi yang bahas tentang jazz…

lalu….. bersamaan dengan gw memikirkan someone yang related dengan stasiun radio baru itu, mengalun lagu ini, Night and Day….. Lagu yang simpel tapi chord-nya gak simpel kayaknya.. Jazz gitu lho… dan lagu ini mengingatkan gw padanya… pada gw yang Night and Day memikirkannya… haduuuh….

kalo didengerin lebih dalem lagi, lagu ini punya dua sisi, bisa dinyanyikan dengan riang, bisa juga dengan nada yang agak kronis tragis dramatis hahahaha……

well…. malamnya gw akhirnya bisa mendengarkan suaranya walopun hanya berupa iklan program di stasiun radio itu hehe……. I miss him so much…

19 Okt. ‘08, konon katanya dia datang ke Bogor, urusan kerjaan lah… apa dia sedikit memikirkan gw ketika berada di kota gw? walaupun berada di kota yang sama, gw bahkan tidak bisa bertemu dengannya…

I love this city, and I love him so…

Take me back in the arms I love
Need me like you did before
Touch me once again
And remember when
There was no one that you wanted more

Don’t go you know you will break my heart
She won’t love you like I will
I’m the one who’ll stay
When she walks away
And you know I’ll be standing here still

I’ll be waiting for you
Here inside my heart
I’m the one who wants to love you more
You will see I can give you
Everything you need
Let me be the one to love you more

See me as if you never knew
Hold me so you can’t let go
Just believe in me
I will make you see
All the things that your heart needs to know

I’ll be waiting for you
Here inside my heart
I’m the one who wants to love you more
You will see I can give you
Everything you need
Let me be the one to love you more

And some way all the love that we had can be saved
Whatever it takes we’ll find a way

I’ll be waiting for you
Here inside my heart
I’m the one who wants to love you more
You will see I can give you
Everything you need
Let me be the one to love you more

- To Love You More, Celine Dion -

Gw terus mencoba untuk mengingat lagu Celine Dion mana yang waktu itu mengalun bersamaan dengan pertemuan singkat namun cukup mendalam di Kopma FIB UI dengan dia…..  Mr. W …… a.k.a.  kimi to iu namae…..

Its been a long long time since that day…… and I still don’t remember the song.

Ada satu lagu, To Love You More, yang menjadi kandidat kayaknya lagu itu deh…. Parah juga ya gw… kalo dah ketemu sama dia pasti gw tidak bisa mengingat hal lain selain dia saat itu bagaimana, bahkan kadang itu pun agak lupa…… kadang gw harus bertanya pada seseorang yang berada di dekat gw saat gw bertemu dengannya, thanks God gw punya temen dengan ingatan yang cukup bagus hahaha……

To Love You More……. Lagu ini juga sesuai dengan keadaan gw akhir2 ini…….. Dia semakin bersinar terang, dan fans2nya tentu saja semakin banyak, terutama cewek2…. ya…. im jealous…. konyol banget, tapi ya….. harusnya gw sudah terbiasa… Di saat seperti ini gw jadi pengen meyakinkan dia…..

I’ll be waiting for you
Here inside my heart
I’m the one who wants to love you more

Yeah……. I’m the one who wants to love you more…. can’t you see that?

I love everything in you………….

Just praying for the best

God will lead us to the light and then we will see clearly the answer from what we’ve usually asked before…..

———01.09 - 15 Oktober 2008 ——————–

I’m sittin’ here all by myself
just tryin’ to think of something to do
Tryin’ to think of something, anything
just to keep me from thinking of you
But you know it’s not working out
’cause you’re all that’s on my mind
One thought of you is all it takes
to leave the rest of the world behind

And I didn’t mean to meet you then we were just kids
And I didn’t mean to give you chills the way that I kiss
And I didn’t mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn’t mean to love me back but I know you did
Don’t say you didn’t love me back ’cause you know you did
No, you didn’t mean to love me back
But you did

                                                                       —–Plain White T’s———–

Gw yang tidak tahu harus melakukan apa dengan semua perasaan ini…..

Detik-detik menuju Ultah gw justru merasa sangat kesepian dan merasa sangat kehilangan…… Selalu memikirkan dia dan bagaimana dia dan gw nantinya…… how will my future…. dan berbagai pemikiran lainnya…..

Semua hal itu cukup membuat gw drop……. kehilangan semangat….. etc.

Well…. ada banyak masukan dan nasehat dari temen2….. tapi tetep…. gw tidak bisa memutuskan apa yang akan gw lakukan………..

Just pray to God…

Let Him guide me to the light………

huks…… 

Tonight the sky above
Reminds me of you, love
Walking through wintertime
Where the stars all shine
The angel on the stairs
Will tell you I was there
Under the front porch light
On a mystery night

I’ve been sitting watching life pass from the sidelines
Been waiting for a dream to seep in through my blinds
I wondered what might happen if I left this all behind
Would the wind be at my back ? Could I get you off my mind
This time

The neon lights in bars
And headlights from the cars
Have started a symphony
Surrounding Me
The things I left behind
Have melted in my mind
And now there’s a purity
Inside of me

I’ve been sitting watching life pass from the sidelines
Been waiting for a dream to seep in through my blinds
I wondered what might happen if I left this all behind
Would the wind be at my back ? Could I get you off my mind
This time

I’ve been sitting watching life pass from the sidelines
Been waiting for a dream to seep in through my blinds
I wondered what might happen if I left this all behind
Would the wind be at my back ? Could I get you off my mind
This time — OST August Rush

huks…………………………. could I get you off my mind?

God please help me

I’m So Glad…

I Will Never Find Another Lover
Sweeter Than You
Sweeter Than You
And I Will Never Find Another Lover
More Precious Than You
More Precious Than You
Girl You Are..
Close To Me You’re Like My Mother,
Close To Me You’re Like My Father,
Close To Me You’re Like My Sister,
Close To Me You’re Like My Brother
And You Are The Only One My Everything
And For You This Song I Sing….

All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
And I Thank God
That I..That I Finally Found You
All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
And I Hope That You Feel The Same Way Too
Yes, I Pray That You Do Love Me Too

I’d Send You All That I’m Thinking Of……..Baby

Said I Promise To Never Fall In Love With A Stranger
You’re All I’m Thinking Of
I Praise The Lord Above
For Sending Me Your Love
I Cherish Every Hug
I Really Love You

All My Life (Ohhhh..Baby, Baby)
I Prayed For Someone Like You
And I Thank God
That I…That I Finally Found You
All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
And I Hope That You Feel The Same Way Too
Yes, I Pray That You Do Love Me

You’re All That I Ever Know,
When You Smile All My Face Always Seems To Glow,
You Turn My Life Around,
You Pick Me Up When I Was Down,
You’re All That I Ever Know,
When You Smile My Face Glow
You Pick Me Up When I Was Down
Say…You’re All That I Ever Know
When You Smile My Face Glows
You Pick Me Up When I Was Down
And I Hope That You
Feel The Same Way Too
Yes I Pray That You Do Love Me Too

And All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
And I Thank God
That I..That I Finally Found You
All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
Yes, I Pray That You Do Love Me Too

All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
And I Thank God
That I ..That I Finally Found You
All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
Yes, I Pray That You Do Love Me Too

And All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
And I Thank God That I…That I Finally Found You…..

KC- Jojo

Terinspirasi dari kekronisan dan kebahagiaan sesaat dalam satu hari penuh makna (25 September 2007) — Baiklah… aku tetap akan berjuang dalam diamku… karena itu.. tolong tunjukkan padaku kebenaran itu… karena kebenaran hanya ada satu.. dan akan tetap kutunggu…

kimi no koto… itsumo itsumo…

I’ve been living with a shadow overhead
I’ve been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I’ve been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can’t seem to move on

I’ve been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I’ve been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I’ve been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I’ve been searching but I just don’t see the signs
I know that it’s out there
There’s got to be something for my soul somewhere
I’ve been looking for someone to shed some light
Not just somebody just to get me throught the night
I could use some direction
And I’m open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I’m hoping you’ll be there for me in the end
There are moments when I don’t know if it’s real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration 
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love

And if I open my heart to you
I’m hoping you’ll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I’ll be there for you in the end

OST Music & Lyrics……

Dalam kekronisan menuju ultah gw bentar lagi………..

Anata wa doko ni irun darou… ?

You’re a falling star, You’re the get away car.
You’re the line in the sand when I go too far.
You’re the swimming pool, on an August day.
And you’re the perfect thing to say.

And you play you’re coy, but it’s kinda cute.
Ah, When you smile at me you know exactly what you do.
Baby don’t pretend, that you don’t know it’s true.
Cause you can see it when I look at you.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It’s you, it’s you, You make me sing.
You’re every line, you’re every word, you’re everything.

You’re a carousel, you’re a wishing well,
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You’re a mystery, you’re from outer space,
You’re every minute of my everyday.

And I can’t believe, that I’m your man,
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.
Whatever comes our way, ah we’ll see it through,
And you know that’s what our love can do.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It’s you, it’s you, You make me sing
You’re every line, you’re every word, you’re everything.

So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La
So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It’s you, it’s you, You make me sing.
You’re every line, you’re every word, you’re everything.
You’re every song, and I sing along.
‘Cause you’re my everything.
Yeah, yeah

So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La
So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La

Michael Buble-Everything

Song of the Week,

I like this song very much…